what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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