What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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