Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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