How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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