How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops