I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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