Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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The Labour Party.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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