A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +10

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops