Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Racial equality.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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i like it in the mouth

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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