What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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BIG MAC'S

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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Pain Olympics.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops