A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Tall asians

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops