Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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