What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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