What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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