Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Penis-biter

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops