roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops