Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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hi

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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