whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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