What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Apple hates Blackberry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops