Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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