Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops