Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops