How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Fat? Jesse Z

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops