A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

civil rights

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

WNBA

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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