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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops