Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

69...you know how awkward this is now...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops