Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Justin Bieber

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops