What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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69

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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