Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops