A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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This is a joke.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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