why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops