Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops