What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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