Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

And now a word from our sponsors

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what's natural? Bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops