Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

roses are red poo is poo

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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