what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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