What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops