Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops