What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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