Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock Go away

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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