Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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if you don't like this you're gay

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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