Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops