Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops