My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops