A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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My Nan, that is all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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