Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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#IHateHashtags

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Women's Soccer.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops