What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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