A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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My mom

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops