How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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