Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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