a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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