How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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^ That's not even funny ^

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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