-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Gay rights.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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VITAMIN C!

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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