Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

No it doesnt..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops