Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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justin beiber sucks

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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