Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Men's rights

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Manchester City

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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