What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops