A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops