What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops