What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Shit.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Military intelligence.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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