what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Carlton

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

the cow goes moo

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

jgkbk,mn

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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