Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Jess Burns

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I like to eat.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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the cow goes moo

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Brett Farve

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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