a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

knock knock you may come in

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

a horse walks into a barn

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

live babies

Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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