Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Nickelback

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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