a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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I got shot, you laughed

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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