Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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A joke

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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A scottish man having fun

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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penis

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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Womens Sports

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops