if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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