Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Jess Burns

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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I like to eat.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops