What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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Womens rights.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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