some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Child Prostitution.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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