What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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A black man killed someone

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Jess Burns

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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