how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down

Is Carly smart? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops