Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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I love you very much.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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...Jack Vale

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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