Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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A black man killed someone

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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