I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Black people are innocent.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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