Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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