How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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