did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops