How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops