When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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