Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -38

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops