What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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