Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops