How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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What do I hate? people

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What's 9+10? 19

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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