What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops