Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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THe Election

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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