Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Democracy.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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