A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops