A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did you poop because you are a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops