A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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