What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

Diarrhea

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

Knock knock It's open, come in

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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