Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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quantum physics?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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