Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops