At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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