Happy Monday!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

matt is fat

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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