what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the stage after cancer? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops