give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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How high is a Chinaman

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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