What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Obama = ebola

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Who wants water? I do.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Racial equality.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops