Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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