- Anti Joke

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

nothing