I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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I don't get it

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alert("Hello");

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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