two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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