Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Tall asians

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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