What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops