Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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