What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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