I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

A penis walks into a bar..

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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