How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -1

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Allah walked into AK Bar

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops