Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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