Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops