How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

Boob

What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

N-E Pats never cheated

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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