What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops