5 Italian guys from Long Island

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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