what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

Bob Saget that is all

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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