A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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