Your mumma's so fat she is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Kameron Brown is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops