Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Yanter, Look it up

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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A fat guy!

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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