- Anti Joke

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops