One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The Blonde walked into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops