What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Turkey Balls

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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