Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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