How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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