I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +26

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did John name his dog? Doggy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops