I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops