Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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hey guys im gay

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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