I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops