Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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