What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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