a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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