What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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