whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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bite me

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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