What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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I'm Coming

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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