Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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knock knock

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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