What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

hey guys im gay

how do you call someone? use a phone

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

What's 1+1? 69.

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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