A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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