When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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deez nuts

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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