Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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