So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops