How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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