A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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