Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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dead dibbs

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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dallen loves penis

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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black people swimming

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops