Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

Shit.

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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