How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black succeeds

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

thumb_up thumb_down -1

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

thumb_up thumb_down -1

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops