A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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This is not a joke.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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