What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops