when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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