A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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were you expecting a joke

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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