Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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