Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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quantum physics?

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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