I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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