What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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time to spruce up!

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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