A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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