why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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your face

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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