Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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