What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You should read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You know what's funny? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops