Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

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this website is a bad joke

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops