How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops