How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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i like it in the mouth

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Asian women drivers...

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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