A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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