Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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...._ ..,,-======-. `''< .$$$$$$P"??$$??!!!!>. ,$$$$$$P .?!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!> d$$$$$$$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$F '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$$$L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ !!!!!XX!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$x!!!!!!#X!!!!!!!!!!!!> 3$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!Xd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!WT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!td!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$!!!!!!!Ud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$!!!!!!W?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$C!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$b!!!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> `$$$$$C!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$bUi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$$$$$$$$$$b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$f!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$)!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; ?$$$$$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; $$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$P?(`-, `'(-(-`<>.\'- ,;

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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