Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...