What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops