My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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whats long and black? a baton

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Obama = ebola

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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