What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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