why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yolo your orange looks orange

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

swag

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops