What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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p

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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men's rights activists

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Phew... it's gone.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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