Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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