Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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