A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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