so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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