Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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