"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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justin beiber sucks

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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