What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Your Mom

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops