What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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