one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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No

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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