So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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