Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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rarw

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops