Knock, Knock Come in

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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