A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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