Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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