That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

I'm winning at Scrabble.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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