A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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I love you

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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