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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops