A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

taking out the trash... at night

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +1

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops