A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

What long black and tasty? Licorice

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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