Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops