Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Obama = ebola

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops