Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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