Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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