What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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