What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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alert("Hello");

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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