What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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What is green and slow Grass.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Get on the boat.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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