Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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