Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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