A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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drugs.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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