Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Boob

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Take wrong turns

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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