One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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