Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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drugs.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Women's rights.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops