It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

4 hours later.

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...