Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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