Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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NEVER

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Get on the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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