A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops