This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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