Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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