Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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