Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops