Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

Your're racist.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

you see theres this guy.

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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ME

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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