Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Death by kayak

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Obama lin Baden.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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