- Anti Joke

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't.

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

My Nan, that is all.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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