A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops