John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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My jeans

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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