A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...