You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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