Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops