Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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