Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops