Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock you may come in

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops