A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

The WNBA.

i have aids and a chode

roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

A black succeeds

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...