Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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1+1= 69

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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