A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

did you ever see a butter fly?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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