What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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ASSCHEEKS

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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son, you're adopted.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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I love you very much.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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