So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops