What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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