Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops