What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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