There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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