When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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