How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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