How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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antijoke is the best website.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops