Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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My jeans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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