What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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