A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Find the m nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 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thumb_up thumb_down -32

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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