What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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No your aunties a joke

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops