A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops