Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops