what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Rebecca Black

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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