Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops