What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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