The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Diarrhea

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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