Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Tunechi

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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