What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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