Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What is older than history?

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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