Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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whats green and lives in the water

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Obama lin Baden.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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