A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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