One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops