What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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nolan is gay

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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