teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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salad days!

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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13 =B you just learned something

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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