God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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