What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops