A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A storm be brewin!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops