A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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A van drives into a car.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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