Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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