Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops