two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

Knock knock knock OCD

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

Adam Chebali is awesome

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

whats white jizz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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