How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Caramel Boing.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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