An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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