Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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a man checks his mypsace

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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