A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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