What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

women's rights

What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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