When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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black people swimming

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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were you expecting a joke

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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