roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Jack Stevens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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