What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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YOU

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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that wall over there ->

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops