roses are red violets should be purple

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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