I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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