What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Men's rights

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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