Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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