Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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