Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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haha black people :D

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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