Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

meatspin.fr

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops