Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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matt is fat

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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