so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Obama lin Baden.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Death by kayak

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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