Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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The Qur'an

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Did you know? . You already know!

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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