Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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