Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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