Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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And you honored it I see :P

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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