What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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I'm tired.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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