How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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ASSCHEEKS

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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