what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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son, you're adopted.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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the cow goes moo

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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