Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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The WNBA.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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i have aids and a chode

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The jets are a good team..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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