How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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The Aristocrats

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Womens rights.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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ASSCHEEKS

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This is not a joke.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops