A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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