- Anti Joke

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

What is a dog? Bark

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

This is not a joke.

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

james schmitt whats your last name

Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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