What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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The truth is he loves her!!

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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aodhan hearty

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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