There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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dyslexic's Untie

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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women rights

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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No antijoke here.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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the WNBA.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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