What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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