Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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