When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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