your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A car walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I'm Andrew Schmitt

thumb_up thumb_down -26

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -26

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops