How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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A bar walks into a man

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops