Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops