Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Granny porn!

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Pickles

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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YOU

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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