What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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cool

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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Do you play piano? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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