Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

cool

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

Do you play piano? No

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

What's just not right? Left

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

a man was shot.... he died

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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