A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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you see theres this guy.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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