Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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all these jokes are horrible now

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops