How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

alert("Hello");

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops