How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

Get on the boat.

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

And you honored it I see :P

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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