What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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