What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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were you expecting a joke

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Denard Robinson

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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