What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Your girlfriend.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops