What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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knock knock

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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