sharks

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops