What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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the bible

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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hello

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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were you expecting a joke

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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