Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops