Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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