Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...