Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Pigachu is a Porkemon.

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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