wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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I'm Polish.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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#IHateHashtags

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops