What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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