What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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roses are red poo is poo

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops