How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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You idiot.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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