Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Gay rights.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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