A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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