Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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