What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops