What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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