Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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