how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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