Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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