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thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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