Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops