Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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The Big Band Theory

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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