What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Who wants water? I do.

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops