How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops