Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

What's long and black The unemployment line

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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