What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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