I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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