Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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KOOKABURRA

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops