A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats brown and smells bad poo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops