Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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