Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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