What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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meatspin.fr

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops