What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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