- Anti Joke

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.