A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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