I love you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jess Burns

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops