Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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No joke.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops