Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

son, you're adopted.

I love you very much.

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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