What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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The government makes a good decision

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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