A baby seal walks in to a club

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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1+1= 69

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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