What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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The jets are a good team..

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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i like potatoes

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops