How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

A baby seal walks into a club

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

Women's rights

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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