why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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poop.........

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87

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Ben is gay

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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