Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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