Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Hello world

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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