Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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William Raines.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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Womens rights.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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