Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A baby seal walks in to a club

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

69

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If life throws you lemons Catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops