Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i like potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is a dog? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -1

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Liars go to hell! -God

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops