There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops