Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

69

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

Shit.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Knock Knock Come in!

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

the cow goes moo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...