why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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A fat guy!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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