You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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pobody's nerfect

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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