a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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A storm be brewin!

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The Labour Party.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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